Thank you for the cancer diagnosis?
Nothing else has kicked me up the arse so effectively...
Once upon a time there was a middle aged man that had everything in life that any other middle aged man could want and strive for. He had four amazing children, an energetic step-child, a wife that worshipped him (he may get ‘a look’ for that when she reads this) and a job that paid far too much for what he actually did. What more could any individual ask for?
If you have not figured this one out yet, but that individual was me. Mark.
Me, a guy that at the age of 46 got told that he had stage 3 prostate cancer (i.e. the cancer had burst out of the wall of the prostate) and treatment was urgently needed.
It was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me, I just did not know it at the time of sitting in that Doctors consultation room looking at an x-ray image of my cancerous prostate.
I hear you screaming at your screen “this man is just plain crazy for saying this!”…but please bear with me.
My life was on cruise control. I went to work on a Monday morning and finished at around 4:00pm on a Friday afternoon. I mowed the lawn, cleaned the car, did a bit of DIY and spent special time with family and friends over the weekend. Then on Monday I would rinse and repeat. I loved this life, I had (and continue to have) a family and friend network around me that I hold so dear. I had a good standard of living that allowed for us to have family holidays whilst leading a very comfortable life filled with things and luxuries. The dreams of seeing the wider world, taking grand-babies to Disney and sitting on an Italian villa veranda with Mrs S overlooking the mountains will come when I am retired.
But when after being prodded, scanned and fingered (not sure what the technical term is for having an internal bum examination, so I am going for this term for now) that is possibly all going to be taken away.
How bloody dare you cancer! I never asked you to take residency inside of me and risk taking away everything that I have been striving for in my 46 years on this planet. That is just bloody rude!
What happened in the coming couple of years was both emotionally and physically draining. I was exhausted with all of the medical ‘stuff’ that as an individual diagnosed with the Big C has to deal with and if you are heading into, currently in, on the other side or witnessing a loved one within this you will totally get this. It was all about treating this disease and surviving to the next life’s milestone, everything else was just noise and bullshit.
But there was a positive (personally to me) outcome to getting told I had cancer…and that was that I had to start living, TODAY!
When things medically settled a little, that is when me and Mrs S started to relook at our lives and question what we could do now rather than waiting and it started with a 500 mile walk across the top of Spain with two of our teenage children. You didn’t see that coming now did you! Nor did most of the closest around us, they thought we had lost the plot…“Six weeks walking with two children 500 miles (Camino Frances), living in hostels and carrying backpacks, you will never survive!”
But we did, and it was the most amazing, magically and life changing experience that we had ever had. We captured our journey (as typical of any middle aged guy going through what could be considered a midlife crisis) and shared it through a vlog on YouTube…go on over and see for yourself.
It did not stop at completing the Camino Frances, we started to get other plans into motion rather than waiting for retirement and as I reflect back to the years that have passed since 2021, I am so grateful that I had the loving support of Louise (Mrs S 🫶) into making all of these epic life experiences into reality. I am adamant that we would not have completed these if it wasn’t for the fact that I had got myself a good old dolloping case of cancer (*caveat), and grateful that was caught relatively early.
So what have I learnt from all of this…
“I am not finite. I accept that cancer is part of who I am now and with the support from an amazing medical team, some looking after myself and a passion to truly grab everyday with what fulfils me and my dearest, I am no longer living on cruise control!”
Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings about prostate cancer, and it would great to see you over on our other Substack channel where you can follow our life adventures…
Till next week!
If you need more support then there are some great charities ready to help:
United Kingdom: https://prostatecanceruk.org
United States: https://www.pcf.org
Here in the states it’s called a DRE (digital rectal exam). I was diagnosed at the end of 2001 when I was 44. I too have four children and live a life quite like yours. It wasn’t as much of a wake up call for me as it was for you. Mine was aggressive but still contained, none in the margins as they say. I was very fortunate that my doctor started screening while in my early forties. I asked him why. He told me he had lost too many patients to it early. Fifty was the recommended start for screening at the time. I wouldn’t have made it to fifty. I appreciate what you are doing here.
What a positive outlook! It's a real inspiration (C or no C) to start living x